Looking back and anticipating the future

2010 was an awesome year!  In 2009 I thought I would dread 2010 because I would turn 30, but as the new year rang in I didn't have the dread I had feared.  I never could have imagined how great the year would turn out to be.  We celebrated some very important milestones this year.  In May Scott graduated the Paramedic Program at ICC in Tupelo and was recognized for having the highest GPA in his class.  GO SCOTT!!!  I couldn't have been more proud of that man.  In June I celebrated my 30th birthday.  Turning 30 wasn't bad like I had anticipated.  I actually enjoy being 30, because I realize that the previous 29 years molded me into the person I am today.  I'm comfortable with myself and love my life.  It takes some people much longer than 30 years to get to that point.  September 23rd marked 10 years of marriage for Scott and me.  I am so blessed to call him husband.  God really blessed me when he put him (and his family) in my life.

We have also experienced many firsts in life this year.  In February I officially started in my first official professional position.  About time I put that college degree to use :-).  So far I must say that I really enjoy my new position and hope to continue my career.  After receiving his Paramedic license in May, Scott began his first post as a paramedic.  I honestly believe he was born to do what he does.  He loves it and does a great job from what I can see.  He has a true love for helping people.  In June we celebrated the milestones of 2010 with an awesome cruise (our first) with some great friends.  It was our first but definitely won't be our last if we can help it.  We had such a wonderful time.  In August we began the process of buying our first home, which we closed on in October and moved into in November.  But many of our most cherished firsts this year are a result of the most important first we have ever experienced...our first pregnancy.  Little did we know that right after we started looking into our first home a little one was making himself at home.  We conceived our first child around the middle of August and discovered our miracle the first weekend of September.  Since our blessing was discovered we have experienced the first heartbeat, first ultrasound, first picture, first movement, first kick...I'm sure I've forgotten some of the important things that have happened to us in 2010, but none compare to knowing we have a son on the way.

As wonderful as 2010 has been, I wonder if 2011 can even compare.  But even as I wonder that, I know that it can be even better than 2010 ever thought of being.  2011 will also have many important milestones for the record book of our lives, as well as many firsts.  Many of those are unknown to us but we look forward to the most important one...welcoming Micah Aiden Dean home as part of our family.  I can't wait to see what the Lord has in store for us and to experience life with that precious little boy.

2011 RESOLUTIONS

I've never been big on New Year's resolutions.  While I have made some changes at the beginning of the new year in the past I consider them more life style changes and don't usually proclaim them to anyone besides myself and God.  This year, however, I think I will make a few resolutions.  In no particular order:

1. Rediscover things I have enjoyed in the past.  While sewing curtains for Micah's room I realized that I have so many hobbies and interests that I threw to the wayside years ago.  And I really do love to do some of those things.  I'm going to take time to enjoy activities of the past.
2. Take life as slow as I can.  There really is no need to rush or stress about getting things done.
3. Dedicate myself to family and friends.  The most important thing is family and friends.  I want to make time to let them know how much I care for them.
4. Enjoy every second of my pregnancy and steal every second away with my little man when he arrives. 
5. Date more.  Scott and I use to go on dates all the time.  Between our schedules in the past we have neglected that part of our life.  It's time to start dating again.
6. Make it a priority to spend time with the Lord each day.
7. And the old standbys - keep the house and finances in order.

Micah Aiden - The story behind the name

I've been meaning to post the meaning of Micah's name for a while now.  His name has special meaning.  It wasn't intended but is pretty cook that all of our names will begin with M and his initials will be the same as mine.

Micah Aiden Dean

Micah is a variation of Michael, which is Scott's first name.  It is a Hebrew name meaning "who is like God or gift from God".  We chose it because of the "gift from God" meaning.

Aiden is a Gaelic name meaning "little fire".  This name was chosen from a list of names I composed that I thought sounded good with Micah.  Of the list of names, this was our favorite.  We definitely didn't choose the middle name based on anything besides simply liking the name but after learning the meaning it fits.  In high school several people called Scott little dynamite in football and a few people called me firecracker.  And it appears Micah is already going to be a "little fire" all his own.  His little light won't be put out!

It was a Merry Christmas

After ten years together this was the first Christmas Scott and I weren't able to spend together.  It was inevitable that he would eventually have to work on Christmas Day and this year was that year.  We've known for a while how his schedule would fall.  We were okay with him having to work that day since we don't have children yet.  However, once Micah arrives he'll want to be home on Christmas Day.  We were actually blessed this year because Thanksgiving was on his rotation too, but Thanksgiving fell on his kelly day. Even still, I really missed having him with me that day and hated that he missed the festivities. 

Christmas Eve I spent the morning and night fixing a Christmas meal for him to take to work with him.  I didn't want him to miss out on eating a traditional meal (although he doesn't seem to like many of what I consider traditional foods).  Between cooking, we went to our parents' houses for him to celebrate with them.  We ended up having a great Christmas.  Micah, although he isn't here, received several sweet gifts.

10 years of 2 stockings. This will be the last.  :-)

 Scott called and woke me Christmas morning to make sure I saw it was snowing.  Yay!  Snow on Christmas morning!  This is a first for this Mississippi girl!

The view from our back door.

The snow flakes were so big and fluffy.  Very pretty!

I was so excited that I didn't even think about the mud on my shoes!  I left a trail from the front door to the shower.  Oops!

Loaded up and ready to go.

Micah's first pack of diapers - a gift from Nanny.

This outfit was so cute that both Aunt Kristi and Nanny bought it for Micah's Christmas!

Mom bought Micah several outfits.  I think this might be Scott's favorite.

Micah has a great head start on onsies! Thanks Grandma!

My favorite!

Another gift from Aunt Kristi and family.  This sweet giraffe sings his ABCs.

Baby scrapbook from Mamaw!

Aunt Cyrena gave Micah this sweet little lamb.

Micah's first piggy bank from Mamaw and Granddaddy.  They even put the first deposit into the piggy bank!

Sweet baby fireman boots from Uncle Lacy and Aunt Pat.

Sweet baby shorts.

Things I want for Micah

When I was a child my parents didn't give me every little thing I wanted, but they always made sure I had what I needed.  I want that same thing for my son.  I want to give him things without having him expect to get every new thing that comes onto the market.  I want him to have a simple childhood.  I looked forward to Saturday morning cartoons.  Do children do that these days?  I'm not sure they do because they can have cartoons any time they want.  I want Micah to understand that you have to wait for some things, which is why I want him to be a Saturday morning cartoon child.  I want him to find ways to amuse himself other times.  I want him to try new foods, push his limits, find a mud hole to play in, play in the rain...I want him to have a childhood close to what I had.  The way I was raised made me the person I am today.  It taught me to appreciate everything, no matter how small.  I didn't get to do many of the things I wanted to growing up simply because my parents couldn't afford it.  I thought at the time that it was unfair and even pouted at times but what would I have learned if I did get everything I wanted?  I'm thinking not much.  Instead, I grew up knowing that I couldn't have and do every single thing I wanted.  But I also knew that my parents sacrificed so that Jeremy, Timothy, and I could have nice things.  When I got older I learned that they sacrificed even more than I realized so we could have some of the things we wanted.  But they never sacrificed time with us.  My parents were always there for us.  I was spoiled on love, not on things.  I want Micah to know that kind of love from Scott and me. 

I hope my parents know how much I love and appreciate them.  They were the best and still are pretty great!

"Project Nursery" - The Beginning

Project Nursery has begun! Tuesday and Wednesday Scott worked on getting Micah's nursery painted.  I am in love with the color!  It looks so good!

Wall color - Valspar's Fountain of Youth

 I got a few things in that I had ordered to be painted.  Now I just have to decide on the crib bedding so I can get the right color of green paint for those things.  I have to paint picture frames, letters for his name, shelves, and a piggy bank.  I also need to pic out some fabric to cover a cork board I ordered.  It is a little smaller than I thought it would be but I guess it will work.  I might end up buying a larger one and have two in there.

I am waiting on a tree mural that I ordered (see picture below).  I had thought about having a friend paint a mural for me but figured this would be less trouble for her and less paint fumes for Scott to be fussing at me about.  :-)  Win, win!  I plan to order a wall decal saying when I get the chance.  We had several we liked but have ultimately decided on one that says "Such a big miracle in such a little boy."

What's in a name?

Ever since I was a little girl dreaming of starting a family, I have had names picked out for my children.  They had changed over the years from one thing to another (sometimes because someone else used "my" name) but I always just knew what I would name a child if I were to have one.  Even after Scott and I married we discussed names and had names picked out for our children.  We actually had two boy names and two girl names.  I thought then that the hardest thing to do would be to decide which name to use first when we finally were blessed with a child.

My how things change when you are actually expecting!  I always thought I would just know what to name my child but it isn't that easy. We haven't really even considered the names we previously had chosen as an option for this child.  Scott and I apparently have very different tastes in names so it has been hard to agree on anything.  After finding out we are expecting a boy we have finally started focusing on boy names.  We discussed a first name which would have a couple of special meanings a couple of days ago.  Yesterday we discussed names that go along with that name.  We are pretty sure about the first name because of how special it is and because we both agree that we like it.  That is not a small feat with me and Scott when it comes to a name for this child!  We aren't ready to disclose that name yet though because we don't want negative comments to influence our decision.  It has been hard enough without taking everyone's criticism.  Once we decide on a middle name (or think we have decided) we will reveal the name we have chosen to family and friends.  For now we are keeping it our little secret.  It is kind of nice to have that secret between us.  :-)  We do have a middle name we've been kicking around since yesterday.  Hopefully we'll be able to sit down (we've haven't had face to face time with the full name) soon and decide if this is the name for our little one.  I know we can change it and with us we may very well end up doing that.  But I want to at least have a good deal of certainty before telling our name.   

Time flies when you're happy

Wow, where has the time gone?  We're going to be 19 weeks tomorrow!  That means next week we'll be halfway through this pregnancy.  5 months!  Seriously?!?  We better get busy on BB's name!

Big and loving it!

18 week visit

Thought I would share the ultrasound pictures from our 18 week visit. 

4D of BB's behind.  This is the only view he would give us with 4D on!

A different angle of BB's 4D little booty.  :-)  He's all curled up, head buried, and feet crossed.

Hello Baby Boy (BB)!

The arrow shows BB is a boy.  :-)

Measurements for week 18, day 4.  BB weighs 10 oz!

Measuring BB's femur.

BB's head measurement.  He's got a big head, measuring a whole week early!  But it is a healthy, normal large head.

The black where the arrow is are the four chambers of BB's heart.  Awe!

Measuring his heartbeat.  The black space in his chest (where the dotted line goes through) is BB's heart again.

The best facial picture we could get.  Too bad it was 2D and not 4D.  If you look closely you can see his profile...forehead, nose, lips, chin.  For those of you with difficulty seeing it, he is head down.  The roundish black space is his eye socket. And the lines right above his lips are sweet little fingers.

Another measurement of his head. Not sure the difference between this and the other one but measurements are different.

The white area where the arrow is pointing is BB's back bone.  You can also see his ribs if you look closely.

Baby Dean's progress

At 5 weeks I finally listened to my body and we discovered we were pregnant. Seeing a positive pregnancy test was the most exciting thing to ever happen to us. You could not have knocked the smiles off of our faces that night.

At 6 weeks we confirmed the pregnancy at the doctor's office. Such a relief to hear that everything appeared to be going as it should for a healthy pregnancy.

At 10 weeks we heard our baby's heartbeat for the very first time. Oh what a sweet, sweet sound! I had heard heartbeats of other babys in the womb, but there is nothing like hearing your own baby's heartbeat. A heartbeat we prayed many years to hear. The only thing better than hearing the heartbeat was actually seeing our baby for the first time. Seeing that he really is there, growing and moving.  And we saw the sweetest little foot!

At 14 weeks not only were we able to hear our baby's heartbeat at the doctor's office again, we were able to record it at home to share with our family and friends. That sounds was still so very sweet! I also started feeling the baby move at 14 weeks. I wasn't 100% sure of what I was feeling at first but as the pregnancy has progressed, I know that is exactly what I felt at 14 weeks.

At 18 weeks we hit a huge milestone in the pregnancy. One I had been waiting and hoping for from the beginning. Scott was able to feel the baby move while talking to him. Today we had our 18 week checkup. We are at 18 weeks, 4 days. We had our first 4D ultrasound but baby made it hard to get any good pictures.  Actually, during the 2D ultrasounds he was making things difficult for the doctor.  He is very, very active and moves constantly.  We were able to see that everything is progressing well, the placenta just did miss blocking the cervix, all systems are functioning as should be, and that we are having a little BOY!

Our next ultrasound will be at 30 weeks unless we need one for some reason before then.  We will be taking a disc to that appointment so we will have video to share with everyone!

Loving pregnancy

I absolutely love being pregnant! It was definitely worth the wait. It is truly amazing to be nurturing another living being within myself. I've been really blessed with this pregnancy. I had the opportunity to have a miracle worked in my life that can touch everyone. I never thought I would see the day when we would have a positive pregnancy test and BOOM it just happened one day. Guess it was like everyone said, we conceived on God's timing. While we were struggling with infertility it was devastating but, in a way, I am thankful that God made us wait. I value this pregnancy much more than I would have had it come easily. Not that I wouldn't have loved being pregnant either way, but it just means more when it is something that you thought you'd never be blessed with. I always wanted to have children at a younger age but it honestly isn't that bad being thirty and pregnant. I'm sure it helped that I was in decent shape to begin with. Yes I have had aches and pains but this precious baby inside of me, this miracle, is worth every bit of it. And the pains, minus the ones at 15 weeks that scared me, haven't been that bad. Honestly, had I known what those were they wouldn't have been as bad as they were. I'm learning with this pregnancy that everything isn't like it is described in the books, even round ligament pain. Yes, I truly love being pregnant.

New facebook group for Baby Dean

I decided to create a group of facebook where Scott and I can share updates on Baby Dean without worrying that we might be hurting someone unintentionally. If you are interested, you can request to join at http://www.facebook.com/home.php?sk=group_168248199869525&ap=1

Moving and music

Moving while pregnant may not be the best idea in the world.  I was forced to give up some of my independence because I couldn't move the big stuff or heavy boxes, but with help from family and friends we have gotten moved into our new home.  I am still actively trying to get things put together but we are there and loving it.

Speaking of moving, I'm pretty sure that I feel the baby moving every once in a while.  Yesterday at our appointment the doctor said it is very possible because some people feel it as early as 13 weeks (we are 14) and he could hear the baby moving while listening to the heartbeat on the Doppler.  Before calling it a night we decided to try the Angel Sounds heart rate monitor again.  It didn't pick up the heartbeat the first time we tried but we found it almost instantly this time.  We listened for a while and then decided to record the heartbeat to share with our friends and family.  During the recording I'm pretty sure towards the end you can hear the baby move.  Regardless, hearing the heartbeat is awesome!   Enjoy!

Music to my ears!

Maternity clothes

This past weekend I was finally able to go get a few pieces of maternity clothes.  I found some really cute shirts, two pair of dress pants, and a pair of jeans.  My questions is, where are all of the winter maternity clothes?!?  I will definitely have to make another trip and possibly hit up the expensive maternity shops to get a few more things.  For now, I'm just happy to have a few things that I can wear comfortably.

A very nice surprise

When I checked my mail yesterday I had a very nice surprise waiting for me, an Angel Sounds fetal heart detector.  I am very excited and can't wait to be far enough along to use it!  The best part is I can record the sounds to share with family and friends.  How cool is that?  I had been back and forth about whether I should get one of these or not.  When we first found out we were pregnant I said with certainty that I would but then I wondered if it was really something I needed to get with everything else we had going on.  I'm so glad the decision doesn't have to be made any more.  After I got it in the mail I realized that I probably would have grabbed one off the shelf if I happened to be near one (which I know I will be soon).  I can't wait to share Baby Dean's heartbeat with the world!

Almost 12 weeks along!

2nd doctor's visit

We had our second doctor's visit yesterday.  Since they couldn't find a heartbeat using the Doppler we got put on the sonogram machine.  I was a little nervous that a heartbeat couldn't be heard but glad to be getting the sonogram.  I guess this baby already wants Momma and Daddy to be happy because the heartbeat on the sonogram machine was very strong.  Our first glimpse of baby showed him/her kicking and jerking, followed by him/her rolling over to display his/her backside to us.  Guess Baby Dean just wanted to be left alone.

Heartbeat: 159 bpm
Length:  3.29 cm (1.3 in)
Gestational Age:  10 weeks, 4 days measuring 10 weeks, 1 day

God's Miracles

Last week I was thinking about all of the blessings in my life and the miracles God has provided to me.  My life started out as a miracle (I know all lives are miracles).  Despite an IUD (which I believe is said to be 99% effective) being in place, God created me in my mother’s womb.  The doctor was unable to remove the IUD, although he tried.  I believe this was another work of God, as he protected me from the threat of miscarriage removal may have carried.  When I was 15 pure ignorance almost cost me my life.  Thankfully, He saved me from certain death that night so long ago.  I have no doubt there are miracles he performs in my life on a daily basis that I either ignore or that I'm not meant to know about.  He has blessed me with a great family, protected me throughout life, given me a wonderful husband (and in-laws), and blessed me with a little miracle in my own womb.  So many times we take things for granted.  I know I do. 

This past weekend I realized even more how much I take the little things for granted.  Freddy McCrory, a son, husband, and father, was taken away from this world in a tragic boating accident.  The last time his family and friends saw him or spoke to him, they had no idea it would be the last time.  My heart breaks for this family.  I so wish there was something I could do to help them with their pain.  All I can do is pray. Every moment they had together was a miracle.  A miracle that was taken away too soon.  God has a plan though, so somehow, somewhere there will be good come from this tragedy.  Maybe his accident is meant to make us all realize how much family means to us and how fragile life is.

Do you treat each moment you spend with your family as your last?  Do you take every opportunity to spend time with your loved ones?  Life is much too short, and, unfortunately, I have missed far too many opportunities to be with the ones I love.  I am going to do my best not to let those chances pass me by and to show my family and friends how important they are to me.  We never know when it will be our last time to see or speak to them.

On a happier note, my friend, Katrina, was blessed with a miracle yesterday.  Little Jenna Reese entered the world at 10:03 p.m.  How cool is it to have the birthday of 10-10-10?  I know she has enjoyed every moment with her new bundle of joy.  Let us all strive to enjoy our time together just as much.

Just for fun

 I found a site that will morph two pictures together and tell you what your child could look like.  I used a couple of pictures of Scott and me to see what would happen.  It was quite fun to see what the program generated.  Although I can't wait to see what our child will really look like I doubt this program is right.  These pictures would have turned out better if I had one of just me that was decent or just Scott that was decent.  Check them out.  :-) 



http://www.morphthing.com/showimage/5/f5d857da209970a0303ff6542ea0dfca/0/6482877/Baby-of-Mary-jpg-and-cruise-jpg.jpeg

http://www.morphthing.com/showimage/5/cdd830c0a31bccbb358d9c7e52f38bb3/0/6482928/Baby-of-Mary-jpg-and-Mary-jpg.jpeg

We're going to own a house

We should be closing on a house at the beginning of next week.  Although the house is smaller than our mobile home, I can't wait to get moved in and settled. 

Scott and I celebrated our wedding anniversary on September 23rd.  We have had ten wonderful years together.  I honestly can't complain about any of them but it is very nice for things to finally be falling into place for us.  This house will be perfect for our new family.

Our future home

Changes

In a previous post I mentioned one small thing making me reconsider everything and promised an update.  Obviously we know what the small change is (us expecting).  The person I was waiting to put into the equation was my doctor.  I was waiting for her to confirm the pregnancy before I took action on my decision.  With the positive result of our visit with her, I immediately knew I would withdraw from college.  That's right, I quit college.  It may sound bad to some of you right now, but trust me it is a really good thing.  I don't want to put any undue stress on my body and the baby.
 

 Tomorrow we will be 7 weeks.  There haven't been any huge changes that anyone else can notice, but Scott and I have both observed small changes as my body makes room for our little one.  The picture below is just the beginning.

6 weeks, 6 days

We got the sweetest note from Scott's boss's daughter.

He said YES!

September 7th

So many times Scott and I have had to change plans we make for one reason or another.  We have learned to adjust well to making those changes.  During our Celebration Cruise we began making plans for our 2011 Summer vacation.  We planned to go to Jamaica for a week.  I had even found some really cool places where we might stay.  Once again, we have to change our plans.  Our Jamaica trip will have to be postponed for the time being.  We are hoping that the friends we were going to go with have a wonderful time and bring back lots of stories and pictures for us.

Why do we have to change our plans?  Here's the story...

Earlier this year we decided it was time to do something about a house (buy or build).  We have simply outgrown our current place and quit frankly are just tired of the same old cramped space.  After some land we were looking at fell through we decided to put things off until we got back from vacation.  It wasn't until the end of August that we finally decided to put an offer in on a house.  We are still in the process of finalizing things on the house right now.  We have put in an offer, which was accepted and have been approved for financing.  Right now we're just waiting on all of the red tape to get out of the way.

We are both so very thankful that we decided to put an offer and the house.  We were excited before, but words can't express how excited we are now!  Most of our family and friends know that we went on vacation for Labor Day weekend.  What they don't know is that the morning before we left I took a home pregnancy test.  I thought I had a faulty test.  I just bought an el chepo test so I wouldn't feel bad about taking a test that was negative.  Anyway, when the result window came up there was a strong line running vertical next to the control line and a very faint line running horizontal.  According to the directions any plus sign means your pregnant, but a vertical line means the test was faulty.  The horizontal line was so light it was almost like I was just seeing it through the paper (or whatever the test is made of).  I felt like crying.  I still didn't know anything more than I did before.

Something kept telling me to buy another test, which I did.  I bought a digital test.  It seemed to be pretty dummy proof.  At the beach house that night I snuck the test into the bathroom with me and took it.  While I was in the shower Scott stuck his head in and said, "That thing says yes."  I was shocked and in disbelief.  I made him pass it into the shower for me to see. Sure enough a Yes+ was staring back at me.  You couldn't have slapped the smile off of my face that night.

This morning I scheduled an appointment to have my pregnancy verified.  They can't see us until September 13th.  We will be thrilled to give up Jamaica for this!

 September 14th
Obviously, almost everyone knows that the results from yesterday's doctor visit was positive.  We thank God for blessing us with this miracle.  After ten years of trying God said YES!  We are excited beyond words.  We hope that our blessing will demonstrate to people how truly amazing God is.

While we are excited for ourselves, we still feel the pain some of our friends are experiencing with starting a family.  We pray that they will never give up.  God loves you.  We will be praying for each of you.

Contemplating changes

Isn't it funny how one small thing can make you contemplate changing everything?  I have been doing a lot of thinking about what I need to do in several areas of my life.  I came to the realization that taking care of me is more important than anything.  That realization has brought me to a tough decision.  I know in my heart what my decision will be but first I need to talk to one important person in the equation.  I promise to have an update soon.

P90X - Second Round

Wow!  I had forgotten the difference P90X made the first go round until I was reviewing some stuff.

Top:  December 2009
Bottom: April 2010                                                                    


Right before our cruise and after the cruise we stopped eating as healthy and weren't working out.  We decided it was time to get back to it. We are 4 weeks into our second go at P90X.  The first week was TOUGH!!!  I think it was even tougher than the first time we started.  I still haven't been as dedicated as I need to be to eating healthy and working out every day I am suppose to but I plan to get better this week.  Things are finally slowing down at work and I'm getting into a groove with my school work.  Hopefully I can manage to juggle everything I have going on.

It is time for positive change in our lives.  We are going to take those changes one step at a time.

Celebrating Life

Scott and I have been very busy celebrating life.  June 19th - 28th we went on a celebration cruise to the Eastern Caribbean to celebrate him becoming a paramedic (May), me turning 30 (June), and 10 years of blissful marriage (September).  We saw many beautiful places and had the most relaxing vacation ever!  We are ready to go on another cruise!!!

One Chapter Almost Closed

I am so proud of Scott.  He has almost completed his goal of becoming a paramedic.  He graduated from ICC with honors (.02 away from special honors) May 14, 2010.  National Registry...here he comes!

Life

Life rarely works out like we expect or want it to.  Yet, it always seems to work out for the best.  You would think that knowing that would make life easier, but it doesn't.  There are so many decisions that I need to start making.  I don't even know where to begin, because there are so many alternatives to each situation.  I wish that someone could tell me, "Mary Ann, do this and it will work out this way."  If only things were that easy.

I've made many decisions in the past that have not worked out the way I expected.  I guess that is what makes it so hard to make the decisions I am faced with now.  I can't keep putting life off, because I am not getting any younger.  Next month I will hit the big 3-0.  I've done a good job of not thinking about it this year until a week or so ago.  Up to that point, the cruise I have been planning with some friends had been my focus for June instead of my looming birthday.  I stopped basing things on my age when I hit 25.  I use to have plans to have certain things accomplished by a certain age, and I would compare my life to my parents' lives at whatever age I was.  When I hit 25 I realized that by doing that I made 25 an awful age to hit.  Since then I haven't focused on things according to age.  Now that I am getting older though, I HAVE to start thinking about some things based on age.  Not necessarily accomplishing something by a certain age, but as I age the likelihood of some things decline.  Oh if only life were easy!

On a "lighter" note.  Scott has lost over 40 lbs on P90X.  He's looking good!

Life is good

Life is so good these days.  Scott will be graduating soon, which is wonderful!  The month of March was VERY busy for him, but he has completed all of the required clinicals.  So for April he can focus on finishing his classes, studying for the National Registry, and work.
 
Now that Scott's schedule is finally slowing down a little we can actually spend some time together.  Last Saturday night we went on a date after he got home.  He can be such a sweetheart.  He brought me flowers in from the pear tree in the front yard.  We were playing around before we left and he made it into a "corsage". lol  Of course, it ended up in water before we left.  The date was wonderful, although we didn't get to do everything we had planned.

Ethan Turns 2!!!

Ethan turned 2 last week.  What a difference two years makes.  Looking at this little boy you would never know that he had a tough beginning.  He's just like any other two year old little boy.  He is so cute and sweet.

Ethan driving his big green tractor.

Tractor envy.

What A Difference A Week Makes

Last week was not a good week.  I was stressed beyond belief at work and thing just were not good.  I only worked out one night (I didn't even realize that until this week).  I was draaaagging all week.  This week I'm back to my old self.  Work isn't getting me down, I'm in an extremely good mood, I'm not dragging, and I'm catching up on my missed workouts.  Life is good!

I'm still behind at work.  There is just no catching up when you are doing two very hectic full-time positions.  I do have help from one of the other ladies in the office, which is awesome.  But it is still a lot of work and I'm ready for a new person to come in and take over!

I'm still reading The Love Dare.  I admit that I do not have the opportunity to read it every day.  Yes, it is only a couple of pages a day, but it is hard to fit those few pages in.  I'm not very far into the book, but I can already tell a difference in the way I view not only Scott but all of my loved ones.  The book isn't telling me anything I didn't already know; it's just bringing it back front and center.  About three weeks ago in my Skills class (during a session with my "counselor") it was brought to my attention that my priorities and what takes most of my time don't line up.  I vowed then and there that I was going to do better with putting the things that matter most to me at the top of the list.  I'm going to MAKE time for them.  At the very top of my list is family and friends.  Those two things are the most important things in my life.  The Love Dare helps with that.

I've also started reading another book, Captivating.  It's about what it means to be a woman.  I just started it last night.  I read a little at lunch today.  I'm not sure if it is going to be a book I love, but I do think it will make me stop to examine what is important in my life as a woman and what I need to be doing to be whole and happy.  Yeah I know, I really don't have time for another book.  But I have this strong urge to dig deeper into self-discovery and to grow spiritually.  It may take me a year to finish these two books, but I really feel like they will benefit me.

A Movie with the Girls

There's something about going to the movies that I love.  It's an opportunity to just get away from it all.  Distractions and the world disappear for a couple of hours.  What makes a movie great?  Sharing them with someone you love.

Last Saturday I went to Madison to visit with Jeremy and his family.  When Lauren found out that I was planning to go to the movies she quickly asked to go.  I promised Jeremy that if he brought the girls up I would take them to the movies.  The next day, after inviting Gracie to tag along, us girls loaded up and headed to the theater to watch The Tooth Fairy.  Our movie going experience (Gracie's first) was made complete with popcorn, Jr. Mints, and Sour Punch Straws.

 L-r: Kendall (11), Gracie (4), Lauren (9)

God Knows Whats in My Heart

It is comforting to know that God knows what is in my heart.  As long as He knows, that's all that matters.  It took a minute for me to realize this.  I was honestly ready to just spend my days keeping to myself earlier this week, because people misinterpreted something I said.  By the next day I realized that just isn't something I can do, so I gave up that idea.  Then two wonderful people reminded me that God knows where my heart is.  With that reminder I decided that it doesn't matter what people think.  I'm no longer an emotional wreck.  I also no longer have to bite my tongue to keep the peace, because I honestly don't care if people understand me or not.  What a great feeling!!!

Note: As soon as it was brought to my attention how it was interpreted apologies were extended. I hope they were accepted, but I honestly do not think they were. I've done all I can do in that department.  Now all I can do is move on.

Busy doesn't begin to describe it!

Can anyone say stressed?  I stay so busy these days!  I am praying for the day that my old position gets posted and we hire someone in it.  I just pray that person knows academics at State frontwards and backwards so I don' have to train them!!!  It is so stressful trying to keep up with two jobs at work and four graduate level classes.  I never have time for fun anymore.

One positive thing, I am staying on top of working out.  I am really digging P90X.  My body is going to be totally transformed before we head off on our cruise.  I might also mention, so is Scott's!  I can see a huge improvement in both of us already.  He's dropping pounds and building muscle, and I am really toning up!  I have even started seeing some muscle definition in my abs and back (which take longer for me to see results in).  We start week four Monday.  Can't wait for this week!

Now I've got to go study for a test...joy.

One More Thing

So I've decided to take one more thing on in addition to everything else I have going on.  At some point last year I joined a Christian book club.  Out of the books I ordered I have had time to read one of them.  They were discarded to the side and forgotten about until I ran across them in search of something else.  While I don't have time to read any of them, I am going to take the time to do The Love Dare.  I have had plans to start it all week, but it just hasn't worked out with my two jobs and four classes.  Tomorrow is the big day.  I WILL start it!

P90X Here We Come!!!

This is us December 24, 2009. Give us 90 days and you won't be able to recognize us. lol Okay, so maybe you will, but we will be healthier, fitter people. Scott and I will begin the P90X program tomorrow. He wants to slim down and build muscle. I want to eat a more balanced diet and build muscle. Starting weights are 188 (he's already lost some) and 121 (unfortunately, I've lost some from not eating right). This is going to be a hard program to stick to with both of our hectic schedules, but we WILL do it!

In addition to P90X I will be running more. Scott, such a wonderful husband, got me a treadmill for Christmas. I can tell a huge difference in my motivation and dedication to getting healthier already. And even with mostly just running I can see the muscle definition returning to my legs. Yes! We also combined our Christmas money and bought a small home gym. I'm so proud that he has been using both pieces of equipment too. Can't wait to be a smoking hot couple on the beaches of the Caribbean!

Light bulbs and Decisions

First the light bulb...I forgot my password to my blog (which is why I haven't posted in a while). It just hit me that it was the same as my gmail password. Duh! All this time I haven't been able to respond to blogs or post my own. Man I'm getting forgetful!

Now the decisions...I just read a note on Facebook that one of my friends posted. She will be having a child soon (within a month). In the note she mentioned how they tried for 2 1/2 years and how devastating it was. To me 2 1/2 years doesn't seem long at all. It made me realize that it has now been 12 years since I have been dealing with infertility and 2 years since our failed IVF. So much has gone through my head in that time about starting a family. Scott and I debated last year about trying again (or picking back up on the adoption road) this summer. But then I wonder...will either work? Will I be waiting forever? Am I meant to be a mom? And, yes, sometimes I even wonder if I truly still want to be a mom. That last question enters my mind more often as I inch closer to 30. Deep down I know that I truly do still want to have children. I think the last thought is a defensive thought so that I won't be devastated if that dream never comes to fruition.